Nammuru slaaang

My favorite city. My home.There are lots of things this city means to me..This blog is a satire on Bangalore life, especially its ethereal slang..

2001 May..I relocated to Bangalore from the lovely coastal city of Mangalore..
My baptism by fire with the local lingo began when Mom sent me on an errand to get cashews.
I am particularly notorious at placing vegetable/dry fruit names in any language bar Konkani, so I was told Cashew is "Gerubeeja". "Vondu packet Gerubeeja koDi" I said at the Kaka store in typical Mangalore accent..Kaka was baffled..I then had to say "Cashew" to see a bulb glowing in his brain.. I went home surprised and told Mom "U told me Gerubeeja..But he says Godambi"..First lesson learnt in my head.."Sach,your Kannada is different from the language spoken here"...

This incident impacted me..I became unnecessarily conscious of my Kannada. Early years of engineering, I spoke to my best friends only in English..People who didn't know me might have assumed I was arrogant.."Ganchali biDu Kannada mathaDu" (Hey,leave your attitude and speak Kannada) types..But I was striving for perfection, which I also knew I wouldn't attain without fumbling a few times..A Catch 22 situation..

Luckily, things changed as I began to rapidly embrace Nammuru culture..Things especially changed when I landed in the US in end 2006 and became part of a closely knit (touchwood!) Arizona gang that was made up of hardcore Bangaloreans.Bangalore Kannada slowly, began to seem like a breeze..

The best way to become a Bangalorean,I realized in 2001, was to commute by public transport.You not only learnt the routes, but also got to feel the pulse of the land. Let us be honest, just the IT professionals don't make Bangalore..The lower strata, i.e. lower middle class and the poor form an integral part as well.

Let me list out several hilarious I-have-seen-it scenarios..These can be envisioned on any street in Bangalore..I reiterate that I have utmost respect for my folks and this is merely laughing at oneself...Here goes!

1) Mostly,when left to themselves, guys talk filth..No two thoughts and there is no exception to this rule..NONE :)
But when a girl/girlfriend is around, the language appreciably changes.So if you are seen foul mouthing your way to glory in front of a girl, be prepared to hear this from a bystander "Ree..ladies mundhe hangella mathadbeDree ree.."(Don't speak like that infront of ladies, man..mannn)..
It registered after a couple of times, that even if there was only one girl around,the word always used is "Ladies" :)

2) Jaggesh, the Kannada movie actor pronounces "Touch" as "Taechhh" (like "Awww..taecching").But this usage is as old as the aborigines...While playing gully cricket in childhood,if the batsman did not walk after an edge behind the wicket, the wicket keeper would shout "Taaech aythu maga gaeranTee :D" and vociferously point to the blade of the bat where the ball apparently made contact :)

3) GoLo antha atthbiDodu: translates to sob uncontrollably. But doesn't mean that technically..
"AvLge vondu saNNa maathu heLidre, goLo antha atthbiDthale maga" (I say one small thing means, she goLo cryingu) :)

4) Tiffan (not Tiffin) : I thoroughly desist this word.It is a dirty replacement for breakfast. I learnt this word on the city bus. To strike up a conversation, strangers ask one another "Saar.Hengiddira? Tiffan aytha??" (Sir, how are u?? Tiffan overaa?) I used to have a weird feeling in the mouth on hearing this word then..Things haven't changed :)

5) Rof hakodu: Rough up someone/try to impose yourself on someone.
"Mon monne huTTdavnu, baddi maga henge rof hakthane noDu" (day before day before born uu, how he rof putting see see) :)

6) Nanna magane: Literally means My son..But isn't that.It is used effectively to express surprise, praise, anguish or lambast someone..
"Nanna magane..huDgir mundhe doDDa saadhu thara aDthiyalla, nachike agalla ninge?"
(My son..in front of ladies, sage type you actingu..no shameaa?)

7)Kivi mele hoova OR chombu hakodu or Topi hakodu...means fooling someone.
"Avnu mathaDod noDidre, dodda Don ankobeku.. Naanenu kivi mele hoova iTTkonDiddina?"
(The way he talkingu, it seems he is big don..I what flower on earaa?) :)

8) Oh ho ho ho bandbiTTa..literally means oh ho ho he came..
"Oh ho ho ho..Navella 10 dinadinda plan maDthaa iddivi. Ivnu yellindano bandbiTTa noDree" (We planning for this from 10 days, he came off suddenly from nowhere) :)

9) Da/man/machi/macha/maga/guru/mom: How can u call someone other than your creator as mom? Never understood that part...Anyway :D
But all these are ways of addressing a close friend or buddy or chaddi dost...
"Macha hengiddiya..tumba time aythu..yenu,ee kaDe kaNsode illa anthiya"
(How are u man? Long time..This side, no seeing only) :D

10) Blade: either means one who utters a lot of lies or something that is absurdly expensive (taken for a ride)..
"Avnge clear aagi heLde, Forum mall alli baTTe konDkobeDa, blade hakskonthiya antha..KeLidre taane"
(I told him clearly, don't buy clothes at Forum mall..U will be ripped off..If he listens,no!)

11) PaTaisu: to tame or impress, especially a girl..
"HuDgi paTaisodralli avnu punTa maga"...(In impressing girls, he is damn good!)

12) Joint/ JaainT:to come together.Always wrongly used in place of word "Join" by the auto and taxi drivers of Nammuru...
"Saar, aa roaDu alli mundhe hogi jaainT agatthe" (That roadu, in front will jaainT with other road)

13) Kai koDodu: cheat or deviate from the plan..
"10 ghantege Lalbagh hathra barthini antha heLidlu, kai koTbiTlu guru"
(She told she will come to Lalbagh at 10 o'clock..She gave hand) ..

14) Yedva tadva: All possible ways/methods..
"Uthharakumara baDDi maga avnu..Yedva tadva reel biDthane"
(He is Uthharakumara..He puts reel/lies in all possible ways)..

Nammuru slang is odd, awkward and even at times gramatically wrong..But its comic punch lines are second to none. :)
We love YET crucify our Kannada, just as they do Hindi in Mumbai. But fun is where/when language is used liberally, not according to the whims and fancies of certain people /rule book.

In 2001, I couldn't have imagined that my Kannada would be as Bangalored as it is today..But I am proud it is..I am in true love with this great language's flavors as much as my mother tongue Konkani...

Nammoor bhaashe sakkath bhashe kaNree!!!:)